CLASSIFIEDS
“THE FOOTBALL”
Bogue County
vs
Browning FC
Home team Bogue County started strong in the first half, but Browning managed to break through the defensive line at the 2 minute mark when Bogue defender Arnold Plimmer got lost and had to call his mum to pick him up. After scoring seven goals, a gentleman’s agreement was formed, with Bogue promising to not do any more tackles if Browning promised to only score one more goal. After full-time, Browning had scored eight goals, but the stadium display showed nine. Unable to work out how to change it, both sides agreed to just go along with it.
FOR SALE Green biros. Unwanted gift. I didn’t steal them from the office, and if Margaret says I did then she is WRONG and A LIAR.
20p each. Ask for Graham at Warble Metrobank.
SHOWING NOW AT
THE CRISPE THEATRE:
Ice Age 14:
A Sticky Situation (PG)
I was laughing so hard that I was told to leave the cinema before the trailers started.
-Grouse Henderson
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Tony Pilkins
34
Stay away from the kids, I swear to god
IT’S GONE BACK IN!
Mr and Mrs and Mrs and Mrs Pemberton feel compelled to announce that their son Hendy Ford will now be born tomorrow.
FOR SALE Badly corroded brass statuette of a bear which whispers to you at night when you’re not looking at it. £10 or similar
statuette of a dog.
IT’S BABY!
Mr and Mrs and Mrs and Mrs Pemberton are delighted to announce the birth of their son, Hendy Ford.
SORRY COULD YOU speak up? I can hardly make out a word you’re saying. Right, are you ready? I want the ad to say
HAS ANYONE ELSE NOTICED how rude ticket officers are on the railways these days? I think they need better TRAINing! This ad cost me £12.
WANTED Mouse trap. I am also in need of a mouse. £20.
Room 12, Brechley Motel
Rap music??
More like C-rap (crap) music!!
FOR SALE Ulysses for Babies. All complex social allegory replaced with felt and pleasantly crinkly fabric.
£7 or best offer.
Call 01372 376902
FOR SALE Ian Watkins CD. Don’t worry, not that one. I think? Oh no
Call 01787 440430
West Rutland Ornithological Society disavows the recent actions of the West Rutland Birdwatchers Club.
For press enquiries contact Alan Birch on 01252 942202
Is this thing on?
PLEASE can my microwave be returned in its original condition.
Fax: 01246 223556
For sale
Baby shoes
Unwanted gift
Call 01572 057673