Associates of an Oakham architect detained in Lincolnshire have requested an urgent meeting with Rutland Council after efforts to negotiate his release fell through during an inter-county ceasefire in late July.

Hamilton Ibex, a self-taught improvisational architect, crossed the border barefoot in December 2024, aiming to build a school where young people in Lincolnshire could learn to light fires and cultivate domesticated plants. Days later, Mr Ibex was gathering giant hogweed fibres and badger wool in order to construct a hyperboloid folly, when he was detained by armed members of the Democratic People’s Army of Lincoln.

Ibex was summarily tried under charges of Espionage, Disturbing the Peace, Obscenity, Blasphemy, and adulterating sausages beyond legal rusk limits, and found guilty in a show trial conducted by warlord and Radio Lincolnshire host John Inverdale.

Lincolnshire council has been criticised for its pattern of detaining the citizens of surrounding counties, often held for years in unsafe and unsanitary premises, like the Skegness Premier Inn, and used as rare loot drops in diplomatic negotiations. 

Representatives of Lincoln County Council Leader “General Ezekiel” deny any accusations of wrongdoing, but say they’ll give him back for a hundred cans of nitrous oxide.