Local politicos frothed into a feverish panic last night as the shock results blasted in: the Mob Piru Bloods had won the hotly contested seat in the West Oakham by-election by a margin of less than 600 votes.

Incumbent Conservative MP Miggs Saintwell-Barthes was filled with furious anger as the results were announced, after pencil-wielding citizens voted in the Mob Piru Bloods’ outsider candidate Quintavius “NekBone” Devine as their new parliamentary representative.

Nekbone’s victory makes West Oakham only the second seat to be won by an American street gang after the Southside Crips took Sheffield Hallam in 1998.

Some local commentators have credited the result to falling approval ratings of the incumbent Tory MP. Tensions have brewed in recent months after Saintwell-Bartes failed to deliver on his election pledge of an Oakham ‘SkyCity’ – which my mate Wes down the pub reckons lost the former MP “millions” of votes. It was promised that the hovering infrastructure project would bring thousands of jobs to the wider Oakham metropolitan area, but hopes were quashed last year when boffins dismissed the proposals as “physically impossible” and “genuinely thick”.

Voters were also impressed by the Mob Piru Bloods’ no-nonsense stance on crime – Nekbone pledged that he would personally protect local businesses for only a nominal monthly fee, and his policies on snitches really resonated with floating voters. No-one likes a grass.

Nekbone was packing a Glock 19 as he took to the mic at the hustings to lay down a savage freestyle laced with profane braggadocio, playful wordplay targeting rival candidates and some stuff about slinging crack. The mood among Oakham residents today is jubilant, with Nekbone’s colourful entourage of street hustlers, steel-eyed enforcers and straight-up OGs already becoming a familiar sight on street corners around the town – we at the Files wish him many happy returns.