Disgruntled ex-intern found guilty of making that article sound a bit racist
Beloved editor Lutz Hupfauer was last week the victim of a vile internet hack perpetrated by lowly intern Reid Miles, who doctored the contents of his lovely article to make it sound racist.
Hupfauer, 96, began his illustrious career in journalism after emigrating to Argentina in the 40s and refuses to be photographed. Earlier this year, Hupfauer wrote a perfectly reasonable and balanced opinion piece, calmly outlining his legitimate concerns about a video recently produced by Youtuber Ms. Rachel.
Within minutes, possibly seconds, Miles snuck online and heavily edited this innocent article to include several unwarranted phrenology references, dated language, and a diagram of various skin tones.
Miles was found guilty following an internal People’s Court process, and has been sentenced to three years of making teas and getting the printer to connect to the WiFi.
Ancient Mayan Skull Brought to Life, but not by Druids This Time
Famed Skullologist Simon Brick has used a big computer to show us what the ancient people of the Yucatan Peninsula might have looked like, back when they were still alive.
Dated to the early 10th Century AD, the skull turned heads after it was uncovered during Dr Popcap Wolton's famous expedition to the Mexican jungle in the 1970s, before being depatriated to his home village of Frome.
Although the same size and shape as the average noggin, this monolithic skull weighs as much as two whole Dalmatians, and is made entirely of priceless limestone and lichen. Senior boffins believe this is a sign it came from a high-status individual, such as a newspaper editor or SEO engineer.
The process of building up all the layers of muscle and skin looks like magic, but Simon tells us that it's trivial to reproduce the process with just a basic set of phrenology tongs, a sharp pencil, and a big computer.
Now, helpless in the hollow of an unarmorial age, a trough of smoke in slow suspended skeins above their scrap of history.
After the reconstruction was completed, the original skull was smashed with hammers because it was boring and old.
