Hero copper recognised for protection of rare mushroom
Bobby-on-the-beat Stephen Sarlac was presented with the Rutland Medal of Freedom today for defending a rare fungus from the talons of vile poachers in Bentley-le-Fenn.
Last October, Sarlac was dispatched to the ancestral estate of Baroness Le-Fenn after a groundskeeper spotted a group of dodgy-looking characters lurking near a contested footpath.
Arriving on the scene, Sarlac identified 63-year old poacher Martha Blurn and her two grandspawn, Kevin and Leona, foraging a cluster of uncommon Cairn Bolettes. A keen amateur mycologist – Sarlac recognised the valuable fungus, and was able to kill the three poachers with a gun before any theft could occur.
Baroness Le-Fenn publically thanked Sarlac for his brave efforts, and fetched a fair price for the Cairn Bolettes at auction the following day.
Glory for Oakham patissiers
Chain bakery Greggs has received official recognition today as its Oakham queue attained national heritage status.
The line of pastry-munchers has been in continual existence since September 1998, excluding a brief hiatus during the Great Deluge of 2003. The queue is generally acknowledged as the longest-lived in the UK, and the longest globally with a throughput of more than five customers per minute.
We spoke to local pudge Jonty Bass, who has spent over 3000 hours in the queue over the past year.
"There's always a festive, community feel in the queue", he told us, brushing a mighty shower of crumbs from his bib.
Bass collapsed dead shortly afterwards, but local bobbies kept the queue orderly while his remains were quietly relocated by local forklift operators Bunton and Sons Ltd.
Director Anthony Drain explains that one weird thing about new Steps film
90s popheads are champing at the bit in anticipation of the upcoming Steps premiere at the Nipp Kinodrome this Wednesday. We spoke to director Anthony Drain, asking how he came to direct the film.
"I knew them all at school. 'H' doesn't remember me at all though," Anthony told me. "He's actually called Ian Watkins. Neither of his names starts with 'H'. Everyone thought he was so great".
A typical musical biopic in many ways - Steps has caught the public eye for one very special reason – former Pontins Bluecoat "H" is depicted as a giant louse via the magic of CGI.
I asked if any of the other Steps stars were depicted as animals. "No," Anthony explained, "Only Ian is a louse."